My Before and Now


A short glimpse of my journey so far. I have still a far way to go but I am enjoying the ride :)

Before:  December 2010 (below)
At my highest weight, I was at least 200 pounds. But, I couldn't say for sure because I wouldn't have dared get on a scale.  In this photo, I would guess I was at least 220.  Uggg!  Losing weight felt like an impossible task at this point so I didn't even think about it. It wasn't something I thought I was capable of.  Besides, I never saw myself as "fat", I just shunned every possible chance of being in photographs with my family and friends and dreaded putting on clothes every morning. But I definitely was NOT FAT!  
On January 5, 2014, I turned 40 and everything just hit me.  I had already lost quite a bit of weight on my own trying not to eat like a ravenous bear getting fat before the Winter. ROAR!  But I still needed to make some major changes. I remember thinking, 'I can't live like this anymore.' I felt sullen and wondered how I lost the spark in my life. I felt like a cliche.  I was having a middle-age crisis which led to one of the worst feelings I have ever felt - I felt ordinary.  But I didn't do anything about it yet.  I carried out my private pity party for more than a week.  Cue the tiny violins!  I still felt a little lost and didn't know where to start so I just started thinking about what I could do and how I could get there.  On January 14, I found and joined myfitnesspal.com at 180.2 pounds.  One of the questions was basically what changes are you going to make.  I still had no idea despite "all my thinking about it."  I was blank. So, I sat a the keyboard and typed out THE PLAN. My plan focused on a healthful diet, exercise, water, and sleep.  It couldn't be more simple!  It seemed less daunting if I could fit everything on just one page.  It turned out some of THE PLAN didn't work for me so I just adapted, moved on, and didn't give it another thought. No dairy....umm wut was I thinking?  I love cheese ;) 



The photo below was taken February 12, 2014.  It is just under a month since I officially started my journey. On this day, I weighed in at 169.7 pounds.  The weight is coming off so easily now although during workouts I turn into the Incredible Hulk (Unattractive - Yes, Incredible - Yes). I was very excited because just a few days earlier I weighed under 170 pounds.  Then, I realized it was the first time in over 7 years. I feel thin but I also know I have much further to go.  I am starting to feel bold and accomplished.  This was a good day! 


During this time I was exercising a lot! I did fitness DVDs (Jillian Michael's) and roku channel workouts and yoga (Hatha and Kundalini). I would also do different circuit training exercises I printed from image searches on the Internet. I very rarely did the same thing twice except for rowing. I get bored so I tried to keep things new and different. For some reason, I kept thinking of the "muscle confusion" phrase I heard on a P90x infomercial months earlier. I was working all of my muscles and they definitely were confused!!!  WTF are you doing human....we have been trained not to move this much :)

With the help of myfitnesspal.com, I was maintaining a 1200 net calorie diet and logging ALL of my food. At the beginning, I did weigh my food but after I learned what the correct portions were and what they looked like I stopped. I wanted to learn how to maintain this lifestyle in the real world AND it wasn't going to include toting around my digital scale. After I started logging my food (January 15, 2014), I began to realize how poorly I actually ate previously. I always thought I ate a healthful diet just too much. I was wrong. All I was eating and drinking was carbs and fat. There was very little protein in my diet and I hardly drank any water. I was fat AND malnourished. I was led by cravings. I remember sitting at the table at one point around Christmas 2013 eating dinner wondering what I was going to make for myself later that night.  Today, I realized I need to listen to my body.  



March 24, 2014. (photo above) On this day, I weighed in at 161.8. I am so close to the 150's I can taste it. I am so driven. Since March 1, I have been getting acquainted with my inner runner. I had to stop rowing because of a labral tear in my left shoulder. Ouch...such a nagging, chronic pain. The pain makes me feel injury prone and lost again. I am worried starting to run again given my history with many, many knee surgeries. I don't want one again. I am apprehensive at first partly because it is still cold and icey outside but I am surprised how good running feels on my heart, soul, and my joints. Running in the winter in Alaska is pretty wonderful with the thick base of snow on the trail. I even begin to enjoy the ice agility test on the way to the trail. I like hopping from bare patch to snow and back again. I feel stronger. I feel powerful but most of all I feel free. However, it can be frustrating seeing a moose and having to say, "Dammit..guess I have to turn around. Where should I go now?"


April 1, 2014 (photo above).
On this day, I weighed in at 157.8.  I am starting to feel pretty again. However, I am noticing more facial wrinkles coming out since I don't have as much fat to fill them in anymore. Oh well!  I am enjoying eating good meals filled with little nutrient soldiers strengthening from the inside out. Food has become medicine.  I feel completely obsessed with becoming stronger, faster, better, more. 


April 20, 2014 (photo above). On this day, I weighed in at 155.1. The scale is still going down but since I upped my calories to 1600 on April 14 (how did I live on 1200 calories...sheesh!) and with only 20 pounds to go to get to my first goal of 135 it is moving a lot slower than it did before. I am running a lot now and hunger sometimes outweighs the caloric deficit needed for weight loss. The ravenous bear has returned.  On the upside, it is the hunger of Springtime.  A time for growth and renewal.  I have signed up for a 1/2 marathon in August and easily am running 25-35 miles per week. I have chosen running over weight loss now. I get a lot of satisfaction from both right now and both help me in the long run. Yet, I have so much drive to run and be free right now. My choice is made I am a runner!


STAY TUNED......

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